Constant
by TheScryer
Summary: For Kaoru, life is like a science equation. Independent from others, Dependent on only his brother, and his brother is the only Constant in his life.Only his equation has become unstable, and now it's falling apart.
1. Life as Kaoru Knows it

**Constant**

**D-Chan: Hey everybody! As you may notice, I'm writing this story alone. This story idea sprung from my own thoughts about loosing my twin. I know how it feels because I'm going through it. I'm loosing H-Chan to boys, friends, and my parents. Sucks to be me huh:p**

**Disclaimer: ummmm…. I own my thoughts…… but not the twins, sorry to admit that though….. –sigh-**

**D-Chan: You know, I blame parents for how attached twins get. They raise them together in everyway, same crib, double coach, same room, never let's one go anywhere without the other. That's why I'm so attached to H-Chan, we've been horded together our whole life, never separated, shared everything. So I guess parents don't realize the reason we're so stubborn about the thought of leaving each other is because, we've never been apart to begin with. To me we're like a science project. We're independent with other people, dependent on one another, and we're a constant (controlled) in each others lives. So, am I selfish? **

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**Kaoru's P.O.V**

**I watch sadly as my brother helps Haruhi carry the bags she had just bought from the commoner grocery store. I turn away as he topples over and Tamaki begins to laugh. Kyoya tells me and Mori to go over and help them. I get up without protest, as does Mori. We both head over and I quickly snatch up two bags. Hikaru blinks up at us for a moment before grinning sheepishly and grabbing a bag as he stands up. We help Haruhi carry the bags up to Music Room 3. I sit quietly in one of the chairs. Hikaru looks confused for a moment but goes and sits by Haruhi on the love seat.**

**I smile slightly, it's good that they are getting along so well, Hikaru really likes her, and I've been watching them interact lately. They laugh together a lot, and most of there time together isn't made up of acting like they love each other, they just do, and I envy them. I can feel eyes on me now and I look over only to see Kyoya watching me quietly. I send him a large grin and he looks away as if nothing were wrong to begin with. I look back out the window and continue to smile. I sit there looking out the window for what seems like forever before I feel a hand drop onto my shoulder. I blink and look up.**

**Hikaru stands over me looking concerned. I smile at him "Yes Hikaru?" He gives a smile back "It's almost time to go home Kaoru, Kyoya says we don't have any customers today because it's so close to a holiday." I blink but then smile brightly and stand "Well then, let's go home." We don't talk again until we're already half-way home. "What's wrong Kaoru?" I look up from my homework "Hmmmm? What do you mean what's wrong dear Hikaru, nothings wrong." Hikaru looks doubtful but doesn't question me any further. I turn back to my homework and begin to hum one of the songs I had heard on the radio this morning. **

**I chuckle as Hikaru gives me a queer look, we have such different taste in music, I like Pop, and he likes Rock, he always asks me why I like it, and I just tell him it's because it makes me different. Of course he always gives me a strange look for that too. He just gives me that look and I smile brightly, you know the look right? It's the one all siblings give each other, the rolling of the eye's and the why must I be related to you look. Yeah, you know the one. Unless you're an only child like Tamaki, then you get it from your cousins. **

**We get home shortly after that and I hum all the way to our room. I put away all of my school stuff and change then turn to Hikaru "Hikaru, do you want to go get some ice cream?" He looks up "Sorry Kaoru, I'm going to a commoner store with Haruhi, I'll be back later." He leaves the room. My face falls but I smile right afterwards and head downstairs. My eye's land on my mother and they widen "Mom, your home?" She turns to me and smiles "Hello Kaoru, where's Hikaru at?" I bounce over and sit next to her "He went to the store with Haruhi, do you want to come with me to go get an ice cream cone?"**

**She blinks but then smiles "Of course, I would love to!" She gets up "Do you want to take the limo, or am I driving?" I tilt my head "Can I drive?" She blinks "But, you don't know how…" I grin "Yes I do, me and Hikaru have been taking lessons at a commoner place called a 'Driving School'." She smiles sweetly "Have you now? Then you can drive us there." I smile back and grab her keys from the basket by the door and head out to the garage. She follows closely, she watches me like a hawk as I start the car and back out of the drive way. She seems very surprised that I don't mess up, I smile wistfully "I'm a better driver then Hikaru, at least, that's what the instructor told me."**

**We drive quietly to the Ice Cream Palace; it's where our mom has taken us for ice cream since we were little kids. We seat ourselves in the usual spot. The old waitress comes over "Hello Mrs. Hitachiin, Kaoru," she looks around "Where's Hikaru?" I grimace slightly "He's out on a date, so it's only me and mom today." The old woman nods with 'ahhhh' look "The usual?" My mom nods but I shake my head "No, Fruit Sorbet, Passion Fruit please." She blinks but then smiles and nods writing it down she heads over to the counter. My mom raises an eyebrow; I shrug "I just want to try something new."**

**She tilts her head "But you and Hikaru always get…. Oh." I nod. Me and Hikaru had always gotten a banana shake with two straws and split it, but now we couldn't do that, because Hikaru wasn't here to split it with. When we get home we stumble through the door laughing, mom trying to tickle me. When I look up it's to see Hikaru and Haruhi watching us. Hikaru is glaring but Haruhi is smiling, Hikaru stands looking angry "Where have you two been?" I grin "We went to the Ice Cream Palace." Hikaru, if possible, looks even angrier "You went without me!"**

**Kaoru blinks looking confused "Well I asked you if you wanted to go earlier, you said you had something to do, so I asked mom, she even let me drive." Hikaru still looking majorly pissed, and storms from the room. Kaoru looks distressed as his eye's follow Hikaru from the room "I'm sorry Haruhi, did you two have plans for after we got back?" She shakes her head "No, we didn't have any plans don't worry about it." I tilt my head "Would you like to stay for dinner? I'm sure Hikaru will be cooled off a bit by then." She smiles and nods "I would love to stay for dinner."**

**We stay and chat in the parlor until a maid comes to tell us dinner is ready. I stand and head upstairs to get Hikaru. I open the door a little; the light from the hall floods the dark room "Hikaru?" I call out quietly. I slip in and look at Hikaru who is lying on the bed facing away from the door. I walk over "I know you're mad at me Hikaru, but dinner is ready, and I don't want you to seem rude in front of Haruhi, she stayed for dinner by the way." Hikaru sighs and rolls over to face me "I'm not mad at you Kaoru, just upset that you didn't wait for me to get home before going."**

**I sit on the edge of the bed "It's alright Hikaru, it's just, I wanted to go out and have fun and you were busy so I took the next best option, I went with mom, oh, the waitress says hi by the way." Hikaru snorts with laughter. I grin "So, you gonna come down for dinner now Hikaru?" He nods and kisses me on the cheek "Yeah."**


	2. Quarrel

**Quarrel**

**D-Chan: Yep, it's the second chapter, I had planned on it being a one-shot, but like all my other one-shots, it developed a plot and gained a bunch of chapters. :P Still no H-Chan either. I scared the crap out of her boyfriend :) I'm immensely happy with myself.**

**Falcon: D-Chan doesn't own Ouran High School Host Club; we're her muses just so you know. **

**Flame: -just smiles happily-**

**Fenris: -nods and gives a sexy grin-**

**D-Chan: These are just some more of my musing about twins. Many people like to think twins can feel one another's pain, like physics. But we can't, it's more of a sense of dread that over comes one of them, and something just fells wrong, but we don't feel pain, and we don't know what's wrong just that something is wrong. Can you imagine seeing someone that looks exactly like you in pain or worse yet, dead, of course not; you probably don't have anyone that looks just like you. I'm extremely protective over H-Chan, if anyone ever hurt her I'd kick there arse.**

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I smile over at my brother as I roll over to face him on the bed "Good morning Hikaru." A beautiful smile spreads across his face "Good morning to you too Kaoru." He kisses me on the cheek and then gets up and heads into the conjoined bathroom. I get up at a more leisurely pace and follow him to get ready for school. We both head downstairs laughing together and are very surprised to find our mother waiting for us.I tilt my head and smile "Good morning mother!" I sit to her left. Hikaru repeats my words and sits to her right.

Our mother smiles brightly "Good morning boys did you both sleep well?" She gets two nods in response and seems satisfied with that. We eat in relative silence before going out to the limo to go to school. Our mother bids us farewell and goes to her own car to head to work. We play around and plan out the acts for the day. Our driver can't help but laugh. He was getting old, his black hair was graying, and he had it back in a pony-tail the tail fell between his shoulder blades. His face had very angular features, high cheek bones, softly squared jaw, a soft brow line, and narrowed blue eyes.

I lean across our seats to lean through the little window separating us "What are you laughing at Akira?" He smiles "Nothing Mr. Hitachiin." I can't help but giggle, yes giggle "You can call me Kaoru you know, you've been our families driver longer than I've been alive." Akira's eyes twinkle "I'm not quite that old Master Kaoru." I grin and throw myself back next to my brother. Hikaru just blinks wondering where my new attitude had come from most likely. Akira looks at us through the rear view mirror smiling "You two are the ones who gave me so many gray hairs!"

I can't help but giggle again slumping back into the seat just smiling. Hikaru just furrows his eyebrows. I wrap my arms around his waist and snuggle into his side "Don't worry Hikaru; I'm just out of my depression." That makes Hikaru smile and he begins to play with my hair. When Akira opens our door mass amounts of girls begin to squeal. We both blink but smile and climb out of the car. We get into class and Hikaru immediately goes straight to Haruhi. I grin at her and wave before taking my seat on the other side of her.

Hikaru looks over in concern and I just grin at him and pull out a book. I begin to read it but loose interest quickly and turn to a girl near me "You're Princess Anaiko, are you not?" She turns red and nods. I smile sweetly at her "I'm Kaoru before you ask, and I'm not lying to you, I swear it." She smiles "So what are you up to today Kaoru-San?" I turn to face backwards completely in my chair "I don't know yet, I think I might go bug Kyoya, if not maybe tease Tamaki." She tilts her head "Nothing planned with your brother?"

I furrow my brow in confusion for a minute then sit back "Ahhhh… No, not today, maybe we'll go out somewhere with Haruhi, or go out for ice cream it depends on what Hikaru has planned." The girl looks saddened "Is something wrong between you and Hikaru, the two of you haven't been hanging around each other to much?" I shake my head "No, Hikaru's just been busy lately." All the girls around us begin to murmur. I see Hikaru look up confused as he hears the girls murmuring about how busy he must be if he's no longer hanging around me.

He looks over to me and listens as I talk to the girl. I smile and tilt my head "It's not that, Hikaru's finally branching out and making friends, I don't mind being abandoned, sure it's lonely, but even if we're twins, no matter how attached we are, we will have to leave one another some day." The girls start tearing up "I never knew you were so deep Kaoru-Chan." I shake my head "I'm not usually; I've just had a lot of time to think." The girls all gasp and start coddling me. I begin to regret talking to this girl, girls always had been rather troublesome.

Hikaru turns to me "Why didn't you say anything?" I blink now confused "About what?" He flies up "About feeling abandoned?" I stand slowly "I didn't think it was that big of a deal…" He interrupts "Of course it's a big deal; I don't want you to feel left out!" Haruhi looks over "Hikaru calm down, your overreacting." Hikaru looks over "I'm not overreacting!" I sigh "yes you are Hikaru, don't yell at Haruhi, honestly, it's not to big of a deal, everything…" SLAP! My eyes widen as my head snaps to the side with the force. My hand comes up to rest on my cheek as I turn confused eyes onto Hikaru.

His eyes are as wide as mine are; a hand over his mouth. He turns and flees the room "Hikaru!" I call after him. I try to go after him but the crowd of girls now surrounding me prevents that. I push my way rather roughly through them and run after Hikaru. The girls just yell after me. "Hikaru!" I call desperately as I try to catch up to him. I stop short as I see him run smack dab into Nekozawa-San. My eyes widen again and I fly forward "Hikaru!" Nekozawa-San glares at Hikaru; Hikaru gets up slowly apologizing profusely.

I take Hikaru by the arm "Are you alright Hikaru? Nekozawa-San?" Nekozawa-San actually stops glaring to look curiously at me. I blink at him and then give him an easy apologetic smile "Hikaru?" I turn Hikaru to look me in the eyes and notice the tears clinging to his lashes "Oh Hikaru." I pull him to me, holding his head against my shoulder "It's alright Hikaru, I'm not mad." I'm not mad, really, I deserved it, I should have told Hikaru, it was important. I hug him closer "I should have told you, I'm sorry Hikaru." He looks up wiping away his tears "No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have hit you." Nekozawa-San's eyes widen and his shout echoes throughout the hall "HE HIT YOU?"


	3. Shadows and Kitties

Shadows and Kitties

**Shadows and Kitties**

**D-Chan: Yes, this is the third chapter.**

**H-Chan: D-Chan does not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of its members. **

**My Spiel: Twins, twins, twins. What do people really expect from us? Do they expect us to be great, or expect us to fail, or think we're smarter for the fact that we can have two brains working on the same idea? We both have different thought processes and ideas and thoughts, we may have some of the same interests but it doesn't make us any smarter. **

**(End of Chapter, I'll explain my year and a half long absence.)**

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I glance over my shoulder only to spot Nekozawa-san slipping into the shadows. The fine hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. "Why is he following you?" I jump in fright, my eye's widening as I turn to face Kyouya(AN: I know I spelled it Kyoya last time, but I don't know why since I spell it Kyouya). Kyouya is pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his middle finger. I sigh internally telling myself that I have to stop being so jumpy "Sorry Kyouya-san, he's been following me since yesterday, I'm not quite sure why." Kyouya raises an eyebrow in wonderment "After what event did he start following you?" My brows draw together in thought and my lips form a thin line as I think back to events of the day before "I think it was after the incident in the hall with Hikaru, Nekozawa-san was there and has been following me ever since." Kyouya nods "I see, so he's taken and interest in you and your brother has he?" I shrug "Dunno, maybe." Kyouya smirks "Then talk to him, it might be beneficial to the host club." Kyouya walks away. My mouth falls open in surprise. I sigh, sulking; I make my way over to Nekozawa-san "Why are you following me?"

He just blinks at me. I sigh again "Fine, fine let's get to class" I hold out my hand. He takes it and we walk to class together. The teacher stares at the two of us as we enter. I just smile and release Nekozawa's hand. We head to our seats; I shift awkwardly when Nekozawa sits behind me and continues to stare. Hikaru freeze's before turning around slowly, his eyes widen and he quickly faces forwards. I turn only to see Nekozawa-san has switched his gaze to glare at my brother. I scowl "Nekozawa-san I would appreciate it if you would not glare at my brother." Nekozawa looks away, dejectedly at the ground. I sigh "I'm sorry for snapping at you Nekozawa-san, but you shouldn't glare at him, it's not his fault." Nekozawa looks up through his bangs "You're not angry?" he whispers. I shake my head "No of course not!" I leave him to interpret that since I have no clue what I wasn't supposed to be angry about. I turn back only to see everyone and the teacher starring at me. I smile sheepishly "Sorry!" The teacher shakes her head. Hikaru is watching us curiously. I send him a smile that says I will explain later. He nods and turns back around.

When class is finally over I turn to Nekozawa "Nekozawa-san, if your not to busy, we're doing a dark theme at the Host Club today, if you'd like, you can join us." I grab Hikaru's hand and walk from the room. I pause, to give thought to the day's theme….! "Kyouya planned this!" Hikaru blinks "Planned what Kaoru?" I grumble 'Stupid shadow kings' I drag Hikaru towards our next class so quickly that Haruhi can barely keep up. I grumble all through that class, before heading to the Host Club for our free period. I throw the massive double doors open "Kyouya! You planned this!" Kyouya looks up from his quiet chat with Nekozawa-san "Kaoru, your scaring the ladies. Now, what did I plan?" My face begins to heat up and I can tell I've gone bright red. I quickly go to the backroom and lock myself in. I hear Hikaru ask Kyouya if he knows what's wrong with me. Kyouya answers that he doesn't know. I turn and lean on the door, my eye's closed. I sigh before sliding down to the ground. Then, I hear "Kaoru?" My eye's open to see Tamaki. I groan and slump forward putting my head between my knees and wrapping my arms around them. I can feel Tamaki kneel in front of me "Go away!" I mumble loudly into my knees.

He places his right hand on my head "Kaoru, is something the matter?" The concern is obvious in his voice. "This is all Haruhi's fault!" I hiss. Honestly, she was innocent but at the time I needed someone to blame. I glance up at Tono only to see he's watching me with hurt eyes. I sigh and lean into the wall "No, it not her..." I struggle to find the words I want to convey "I shouldn't blame her; it's not really her fault..." I choke off at the end into a silent sob. I wipe the unfallen tears from my eyes "But it all started with her!" There's a small knock on the door "Kao-chan, are you in there? Kao-chan, Kao-chan! Let me in Kao-chan!" Tamaki gestures to a chair and I sit in it, he opens the door a bit "Did you need something Honey?" Honey tries to peek around "I wanted to make sure Kao-chan was alright Tama-chan." Tamaki smiles sweetly at the boy "Kaoru is fine Honey; go back to Mori before he begins to worry." Tamaki spots Nekozawa-san as he closes the door and all but slams it shut. He turns quickly to me only to see me smirking at him. "It's not funny Kaoru, Nekozawa seriously scares me!" I smile "Tamaki, you'll have to face your fears eventually..." Tamaki grimaces "Only if you'll come with me!" I loose my smile and look around desperately for an excuse "I... uh... well you see... fine..."

He grabs my hand, dragging me from the room; I barely have time to straighten out my composure. Even so it is obvious to anyone that I look like I'm about to run from the room in tears or hysterics. I look nervous, ruffled and paranoid as I glance around the room to make sure we keep a safe distance from Kyouya. I'm not sure if Tamaki notices but he doesn't take me to Kyouya's side of the room. As we approach Nekozawa-san; he glares at Tamaki who stops in his tracks. I sigh "Nekozawa-san, what have I told you about being nice?" I never really said anything about being nice but he still looks down guiltily. I smile "It's alright Nekozawa-kun," I switch to a friendlier way of speaking "You're not in trouble with me." Nekozawa half smiles and I get the feeling he doesn't smiles much. I can't help but wonder if he's wearing glow in the dark fangs while I'm at it. I site next to Nekozawa and Tamaki sits across from us. The three of us sitting together attracts quite a few girls.

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**D-Chan: I'm sorry this took so long. But I lost the paper it was written on. Then we started having family troubles and my brother his girlfriend and their two kids moved in. After which we had more family troubles. Then, my mothers' side of the family started talking to us again. We went to a few family partied and then had more family problems. After a few sessions of talking together with the family, my grandfather died. We went to Alabama for his funeral. During all this I was finishing up school and trying my best to graduate. I was trying to get a job to save up money for a car, and later on down the road for a house or apartment. Plus I have to save up and get ready for college. Deep Bow Sorry for taking so long!**


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